Getting Myself Together!
It’s been a while and I have been loosing it…I gotta get myself together!
And I never thought when God was calling me out of my land, He was actually calling me to literally do this and be this:
10″Listen, O daughter,
Consider and incline your ear;
Forget your own people also, and your father’s house;
11 So the King will greatly desire your beauty;
Because He is your Lord, worship Him. Psalms 45
I never thought it was supposed to be that literal. That serious. To Forget. That I didn’t consider nor ever be attentive that He spoke it to lead me here! To FORGET who I was, who I am, who I wanted to be.
The truth is I’m just learning. And the truth is despite of its hardships to realize and understand, it’s painful to be lost in an endless ocean of confusion, doubt and discouragement. The problem is when you knew a lot of things you could decide what you wanted to do, but then what you’ve known in life is so much more different than who your God is. And so He starts to take you out into the wilderness for 40-whole years to show you and reveal to you WHO HE TRULY IS. He didn’t mean to show you what He could only do, but HIS SPLENDOR. Now I’m really hoping not to play out dumb or stupid this time and I’m desperately hoping that those years won’t end up 40 after all but at least end up in instant faith!
I gotta press on where there seems to be no vision. I gotta let go of what’s pulling me down. Let go of what’s heavying me down. I have to “FORGET“. Forget the days of my glory and enter anew. Forget my people. Forget the ties. Forget what I thought of was gonna be my life. Forget the ways I’ve known. Forget the future I’ve had drawn for myself. Forget the expectations I have put for my hopes. Forget the bonds I have entitled on my life. Just FORGET and believe that I am here for a reason and I’m not alone!
So little have I known about His ways. That God is able to be God and my God. To always CREATE. To always be and allows us to BE. We, the race of men, strive for comfort. We find peace in settling down in the known ways. But what if there’s a grand reason for me to not know anything and yet choose to follow the Lord though His plans for me are not yet revealed, seen, seem impossible and yet live it out everyday: I choose to believe that God’s ways are higher than men’s.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55
His purposes endures forever. And you gotta be part of that if you are seeking Him with all of your mind, heart, strength and soul. You are just crying yourself out to God and He just can’t disregard your voice. It’s not His divine nature to ignore his own.
I have to forget that I have to understand everything. I guess my heart reveals God’s beauty every now and then. That’s what I feed on. His beauty. It just strikes every weak muscle in me. It revives my spirit and warms up my bones to move further. God is love and His intentions and thoughts over us is always LOVE. But His love is Just, Righteous, Proper, Eternal, Great, Perfect, and involves a huge deal of getting us to KNOW Him more than anything else we walk on, see, touch or even rest in. He is simply seeking my ATTENTION. That in itself means a lot to me. He is just seeking an inclined ear over His heart and the beat of His heart to CONSIDER.
And I ought to never forget how His faithfulness endures forever in my life, he sends the right people in the right time. But I shall REST in and on His Word. His word that creates anew everyday.
It’s not so bad to write at our lows. Special thanks to a friend who I am in love with His blog that has allowed me to write this, An Intern’s Journey To Understand Medicine Love & God.